Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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