You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
