i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
