Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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