i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
