I bet he comes in French.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
