Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
