Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
