lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
