dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
