Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
