my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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