im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
