his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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