The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
