You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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