If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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