after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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