I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
