He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There was a lot of him and a little penis
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
