At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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