if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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