her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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