I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
