Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
