Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
