oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
