I bet he comes in French.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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