dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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