Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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