so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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