I'm going to jail i love you
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
