he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
