YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
