dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
