I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
