We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't put those talents on a resume
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
