I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
