you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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