Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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