These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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