Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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