does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
