Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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