Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
