Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
