Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
