dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
