And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
