we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
