Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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